Cyanide Raindrops
by AllTimeNatalie
Summary: Roy isn't so laid back anymore. Roy isn't so unorganized anymore. Roy isn't so happy anymore. Roy isn't so Roy anymore. Character death and Jen/Roy.


**DISCLAIMER: Don't own IT Crowd, never will. **

**Summary: Roy isn't so laid back anymore. Roy isn't so unorganized anymore. Roy isn't so happy anymore. Roy isn't so Roy anymore. Character death and Jen/Roy. **

**A/N: Hey, hope you like it. Written whilst I endured a headache/almost migraine so go easy on me. **

**Title: Cyanide Raindrops**

His heart slowly beat with the multiple noises that wrapped themselves around his ears. He wondered what he had done to deserve… this. The feeling of loneliness fought deep inside of him and the tears he always managed to push back inside his sparkly blue eyes fell like raindrops. The car noises that sped his apartment window reminded him of that night when his world was ripped apart. He stared at the wall that used to be haphazardly spread with posters. Each poster had its own frame and was exactly an inch away from the next. He let another perfectly crystallized tear drip from his lashes and tumble down his cheek.

"I'm so sorry." He mumbled, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his head on them. Why had he been so stupid? Why had he left him alone with them? His eyes flitted to his pile of files that had all of his bills, payments and credit card details in and smiled. He loved how orderly everything was, it reminded him of… him. He'd spaced everything out and bought a smaller TV so that he could enjoy a documentary that was on channel four without feeling cramped.

Stepping into the kitchen, he sighed and pushed some Smarties into a bowl, tipping milk over them. It tasted horrible but gave him enough peace of mind to last him the night. He'd done the same routine every single night for three months. Every single night since the accident, he'd played the same record over and over again, too afraid to move on; to let go. The memory lingered in his mind as fresh as a summer daisy.

"_Moss? Moss!" Roy screamed and ran as fast as his legs would carry him. "Moss what happened?" Moss simply smiled and straightened his cracked glasses. _

"_I used my comeback Roy, but they didn't fall for it. When you'd gone to get dinner, they came back and beat me. They shouted at me and called my clothes and hair. It was too real Roy, just too real." Moss gasped air, taking in what could be his last gasps ever. Roy let tears stain his cheeks. _

"_I'm so sorry, I am so, so, so sorry. I didn't mean to leave you, I thought they'd gone and…" Moss tried to shake his head._

"_It's not your fault. It's not at all. Roy? Do me a favour?" He mumbled and winced at the sharp pain that seeped from his many wounds. _

_"Anything." Roy smiled. _

"_Find the bullies, and tell them I'm not angry. I'm not afraid of death, Roy. I've led a good life, I've apologised for my repetitive use of 'flip', I've got no more sins to fear. I'll be fine. If I don't pull through though, make sure you do that. Make it your top priority, do it for me." Roy nodded and pulled his best friend to his chest. Tears dripped from his chin and mixed with the blood that tangles Moss' hair. _

"_I will, don't worry, I will." _

The ambulance had been too late. He hadn't been quick enough to catch his friend who had fallen. Moss had led a good like he said. Roy knew he'd be in a better place. He'd already been caught. Angels had made up for the job he was too lazy to do himself.

A knock at the door interrupted him. Pausing _Britain's Best Dish, _he sight and pulled the door open.

"Are you okay?" Jen asked and smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah, I was just watching a programme but feel free to come in." Jen smiled and stepped inside. Roy had been hit harder than he showed. In fact, he'd been hit so hard he'd fallen too. Luckily, Jen was there to catch him before he fell as hard as Moss had. "Cup of tea?"

"You're alright, I'll make it. You go and sit down, watch your programme." Jen smiled. She saw the warmth in his eyes; she saw the _'thank you' _before he even spoke. She felt for him. She had no idea what it felt like to have one of the most important people in your life ripped from you before you can stop it. Handing Roy a cup of tea, she smiled and took the vacant seat next to him. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really, I can't without crying." Jen smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

"For every tear you let fall, it's a problem going too." Roy let the tiniest smile slip onto his lips.

"Well I wanted to stop it but I was too late. I phoned an ambulance but it was taking what seemed like forever. I had to sit and watch him die. My best friend, I had to sit and watch fade away." Jen took his hand and squeezed it tightly. "I just feel so alone."

"Roy, you've got me. You'll always have me no matter what happens. You annoy me like hell but you're on of the most important people to me. You were the first friend I made. You and Moss were the only ones who got to know me. We've had our bad times but we've had so many good times that they are uncountable. Remember the 'thank you party'? When you thought Moss was dating your mother?" Roy chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah, and Denholm 'stayed' at Richmond's. Man was work awkward the morning after?" Jen nodded and grinned when Roy leant his head on hers.

"And when you took me to Sea parks and that boy got mistaken for an octopus." Roy wrapped his arms around her, forming a protective castle. He'd lost one person, he wasn't losing another.

"Well he did have an octopus costume on and his head was oddly shaped. Thank you, I mean it. It's not easy but it's nice to know I've still got you."

"You've always got me." Jen smiled and pressed their lips together.

**A/N: Okay, sorry it's not as good as it could be because of my dumb ass head. Anyway, I was sort of inspired by the song 'Arms of the Angels" because I was writing whilst listening to it and it's a beautiful song that always makes me almost cry because it reminds me of my granddad. So please review and make me smile. Thank you for taking the time to read my story too, means so much. **

**Love and peace, **

**Natalie xxxxxxxx**


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